- If you are released from prison, it is required that you are given a handgun with bullets and a horse, so you can ride out of town.
- A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
- You may shoot Native Americans if there are more than five of them on your property at any one time.
- It’s illegal to carry a Bible or to talk to anyone about Jesus Christ.
- Since 1173 it has been illegal to die.
- It is considered an offense to shower naked.
- Eating a neighbor’s baby is strictly forbidden.
- All business signs in the province of Quebec must be in French. If the business operator wishes to have English on the sign, the French must be at least twice as large as the English is. There are no laws governing the usage of other languages on signs. -Bill 101 (Passed 1976)
- All lollipops are banned.
- It is illegal to say any sentence containing more than 4 words in English.
- You may only have one child, or a massive fine will be imposed.
- Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.
- It is against the law to speak English in Illinois.
- Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
- Driving on the roads is not allowed.
- Elephants must not be placed in electric ovens.
- Women are legally obliged to wear bras in buildings with air conditioning
- During the long hours of winter darkness it is illegal to complain that you wish it were sunny.
- Anyone found guilty of masturbation may be decapitated.
- Children may not purchase cigarettes, condoms or alcohol, but they may use them. (Not all at once surely!!)
- It is illegal to spank your child
- You must be 18 years old to buy spray paint.
- When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
- It is illegal to have sex before you are married.
- It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
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