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25 Apr 2014

UNMASKING NAIROBI MEN: A Woman's perspective!!

i came across this artlcle which to me is very rather ridiculous but maybe useful for all aspiring ladies intrested in a mans wallet
Written by NJOKI CHEGE of Nairobi news,it will teach you or rather mislead you on how to profile the
Nairobi man, right from his shoes, the car he
drives, how he talks and even where he lives.

NB: if you dont fall in this category,which includes anyone who doesn't owns a car then you probably dont exist to women.Not my words!!
The wealthy man:
A wealthy man is a simple
man. He hardly brags about his latest car or
newest apartments. His dressing style is
simple, most probably casual clothes and an
occasional expensive suit.
Wealthy men are carefree. He probably owns
half of Nairobi but nobody really knows about
it. Because he is a simple man, he will drive a
simple car. He drives the old fashioned
Mercedes or Range Rover or a simple but pricy
jeep.
Mr Wealthy is not choosy, you will find him at
cheap restaurant if need be or playing at a golf
club.
Oh, a little secret. Don’t be impressed when a
man tells you that he plays golf. I mean, every
man in this town can play golf.
The secret is, when does he play golf? If he
plays golf on weekends, he is probably not
wealthy. CEOs, MDs and big time businessmen
play golf on weekday afternoons to avoid the
weekend traffic when the small boys in the
small league come to play.
Mr Wealthy lives in Karen, Kitusuru, Tigoni and
probably Runda. The downside of the wealthy
man is that he is most likely married or taken.
I think I already advised you several weeks ago
on how to be the honourable mistress or
‘clande’.
The rich man:
A rich man is a proud man. He
drives the latest Mercedes or Range Rover
Sport. He is flashy and loud. He loves to
impress women with money and is perpetually
talking about his six-bedroomed residence
upcountry.
All men have egos but a rich man’s ego is the
size of Africa. He likes to show off his
expensive cars’ prowess on the road by driving
recklessly- with the windows lowered so that
we can all see that he has a Range Rover Sport.
A rich man talks big; how he had lunch with
his close friend ‘Evans Kidero’ yet we all know
that the governor’s close friends don’t address
him by two names, but by his first name.
His sentences start with ‘When I was in
London’, and end with ‘Kenyans need to learn
from the West’. He dresses tastefully and
expensively and will never let you forget that
his shoes cost Sh17, 900.
Avoid this man, he probably earned his first
millions a few years ago when he supplied
government with Biro pens and now he thinks
he runs this town. Spend his money and run
off when it runs out.
The hustler:
He is a pretender. He drives
Toyota Mark II, Mark X, Mercedes C180/ C200
and all those cheap Subarus you see vrooming
around town.
He lives in Kileleshwa and other congested
gated communities I will not name.
He must go
for rugby tournaments in Nakuru, will never
miss Blankets and Wine and catch him dead in
the house when Masaku Sevens is ongoing.
Like I said, he is a pretender. He pretends to
be successful, buying high-end Toyotas yet he is
struggling to pay the car loan. He pretends that
he is always moneyed, taking you out every
weekend, yet he lives on small loans,
borrowing, Peter to pay Paul.
He pretends to be sophisticated, living in those
high-end apartments he can barely afford the
rent just so that he can end his sentences with
‘Us guys who live in Kile are so lucky to be near
town’.
This man loves to club-hop with his equally
loser friends and take pride in how they had an
‘epic moment’ in NaxVegas (Nakuru) during
Easter.
He dresses tastefully but cheaply, he shops on
Nairobi Stalls or Sunbeam for second hand
shoes, jeans and belts.
He is christened ‘Baba Selfie’ on social media
because of the amount of selfies he posts in a
weekend. He will post pictures of his food on
Instagram and photos of beautiful sunset in
Namanga on Facebook and tweet from a dirty
public beach at the coast “Mombasa is so full of
wannabes this Easter’.
Unfortunately, most Nairobi men fall in this
category, and this means you will most likely
date him. Go out with him, enjoy his little
money but don’t lend him any.
The loser:
A loser is simply that, a loser. I
don’t even know why we are having this
conversation. First of all, you mustn’t date a
loser.
If he drives, he will drive a Toyota NZE, Toyota
Allion, Subaru Imprezza (mostly blue), Toyota
RUNX, ALEX and Toyota Caldina.
He just started working and landed his first car
loan. He dresses OK and shops mainly from the
stalls. I don’t really have much to say about
him, save for the fact that he should not be
dating you, but should be dating a 19-year-old
high school leaver.
However, should you find yourself unlucky
enough to date this type, I advise that you run
the other way. The hustler is 100 times better.
original article appeared on:
Nairobi News

1 comment:

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