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7 May 2014

SLUT SHAMING : Who is the Real Slut and why we are applying Double Standards!!

The act of slut shaming has taken
double standards to a new level.
Though both men and women can be subjected to slut shaming, women tend to be impacted by it far more often.

incase you need some real life illustrations take this examples:
•It's okay for men to enjoy porn, but the women who make it are nothing but sluts.
•A man can have sex with all the women he desires and is praised. A woman has sex with two men and is called a whore.
•One type of woman will sleep with a man knowing that his list of previous sexual encounters runs high, but if she knows a woman she doesn’t like who has slept with a few men, she’s a slut.
•Likewise, the same women who would be hurt by these accusations do it to their female colleagues without even blinking.
•A man can fool a woman into thinking he’s in love with her, but still, if she has sex with him, she’s a whore. Yet somehow, he prides himself in sleeping with these “whores.”
“Slut."
It sounds blunt and unforgiving for a reason. It is possibly one of the vaguest insults and its definition is inconsistent. It is different for you,
different for the person next to you, and it is different for me.
The culprits of slut shaming aren’t just men. Granted, many middle-aged men have been associated with shaming women for their sexualencounters.
Ironically, though, the biggest
offenders in regard to slut shaming are other women who forget they’re in the same boat.
Many women get jealous, see others as their competition, and overlook the fact that they’re
both struggling with the same obstacles.
Due to jealousy, women will slut shame without thinking.
see also: Shedding Light on the Myths About Women Who Have a Lot of Sex!!
The words “slut” and “whore” are thrown around too easily. These words are insults, not words to
use towards friends for entertainment value or because you’re jealous of a girl who attracts
more men than you. One reason slut shaming has gotten so out of hand is because people forget how harsh these words really are.
Girls as young as twelve call each other these names on a daily basis. They think doing so makes them seem more worldly and mature. In reality, it makes them seem uneducated and foolish. In
return, men hear women calling each other these names and assume this type of language
isn’t much of an insult anymore. If women don’t respect each other as sexual beings, how can they expect men to? When a man hears you
calling other women sluts, he may think it’s alright to do so himself. He may think it will be funny.
Not all men engage in the act of slut shaming, but the ones
who do think they’re entitled to. These men treat women as if their very purpose on Earth is to have sex with them. They play games and say what women want to hear just to get them in bed. As soon as the woman gives in to them, she
is considered a slut.
I once heard a man say, “If these girls are so upset about being called sluts by the guys they sleep with, maybe they should stop sleeping with them. It’s more the girl’s fault than anything.” This man is one of those who thinks he could never be at fault. He thinks
that sleeping with him is a gift to whichever “slut” is lucky enough to be with him. He may even break some poor woman’s heart, but it doesn’t matter because she’s a “slut.”
I’ve compiled a list of reasons that describe why I feel the term 'Slut' is stupid and should go away forever:
1) There’s no such thing as a slut.Can we please stop pretending there is? ‘Slut’ is a word used to shame and silence and attack women. It is only a real thing to misogynists who use language to hurt women.

2) The solution to the sexual double standard that shames women for having casual sex being promiscuous, enjoying sex having female bodies, leaving the house, whatever, is not, as a very smart lady on Twitter put it recently, to “ turn ‘sluts’ into a special-interest group“. You see, there is no such thing as a ‘slut’ or  a ‘non-slut’. There are women. This whole ‘slut-pride’ thing and terms like ‘slut-shaming’ reinforce the very dichotomies feminism works to destroy. Us vs. them. Good girls vs. bad girls. Reinforcing the idea that some women are ‘sluts’ and that ‘sluttishness’ is attached to female sexuality (i.e. that whole — now‘slut’ means a ‘woman who likes sex‘ crap) is not useful in terms of defining our own lives and sexualities. Like sex, don’t like sex, whatever. You aren’t a ‘slut’ either way. You’re a woman.
3) ERGO.
‘Slut-shaming’ isn’t about shaming ‘sluts’. It’s about misogyny. It’s about shutting women down. It’s about hating women. It’s about silencing. You can be labelled a ‘slut’ regardless of whether or not you have or like sex. Whether you’ve had one partner or fifty. It’s doesn’t matter. Just like women get called bitches regardless of their
behaviour. Do we go around telling people not to ‘bitch-shame’ us? No, we say that men who call women bitches are sexist assholes who don’t like it when women speak (read: exist).

4) No matter how hard you try to take back ‘slut’, people will still use it to shit on  you.
And it still won’t feel good. Just because you’ve painted ‘slut’ across your chest and proudly tromped down the street in fishnets doesn’t mean that assholes across the continent are going to stop using sexist language. A lot of people like to make comparisons around ‘taking back’ the word ‘slut’ to the n-
word.
But as we all know, racists still use this word in a racist way.
Because they are racist and because racism is a thing that still
exists in our world. You can pretend that, in the last year, ‘slut’
has been taken back to mean
‘awesome-fun-times-sexy-lady’,
but it’s not true.

5) Half of the time people talk about being ‘slut-shamed’ or witnessing ‘slut-shaming’, it’s about clothes. Not sex. Someone thought you or your buddy was dressed ‘like a slut’. Your response was to say that, apparently, some ‘slut-shaming’ happened. But I’m confused now. Which is it? Is it that women who ‘like sex’ are being shamed? Or is it that women who wear push-up bras are being shamed? Because, for the record, wearing ‘slutty’ clothes has nothing to do with liking sex or not liking sex.

The point I’m trying to get across here is that this language is confusing and, rather than take apart virgin/whore, good girl/bad girl dichotomies and rather than address the root of the ‘slut’ language (which is misogyny), ‘slut-shaming’ skirts around these things.
-Business Unplugged

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