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15 Jul 2014

13 Signs Your Friend Is Toxic For You

 

1. They’re Only Around When They Need You

Friendship really is a two way street. If they only respond to your texts when they’re, like, having a super rough day and just need someone to vent to, then you’re clearly just another pair of ears to listen to. You could be Steve Buscemi for all they care as long as you’re listening to them whine. If you text them just to say hi and they don’t answer for days or at all, then you know they’re not in the throws of an emotional crisis.

2. You Always Feel Like Their Babysitter

Everything is fun and games at the bar until they insist on a sixth round of shots and they’re throwing peanuts at the bartender and trying to take off their shirt. This is the type of friend who just doesn’t get when to tone down the fun and you end up paying for it as they vomit all over the back of your Uber home.

3. They Constantly Invade Your Space

Every time they get drunk they decide to sleep in your bed. Use your clothing. Eat your food. While not only being rude, they’ve decided to make your home their home without ever consulting you. It would be one thing if they asked to borrow and eat everything you love and hold dear, but when they start borrowing your underwear is where you need to draw the line.

4. They Make You Feel Uncomfortable In Your Body

“Are you really going to eat that slice of dollar pizza?” This sort of friend will critique you on every aspect of your appearance and personality under the guise of loving you. This person will remind you often that you could be really cute if you went to the gym more often and doesn’t seem to grasp the concept that your journey with your body is very different than their journey with their own.

5. They Mock Your Emotional Issues

It’s understandable when a friend is tired of hearing about the same heartbreak for the hundredth time; it is another when a friend openly mocks you for your personal struggles. “You’re not seriously talking about this again, are you? You’re so dumb,” is something a toxic friend tells you before you end up crying into your cranberry vodka.

6. They Encourage You To Make Bad Choices

This is the type of friend who will suggest getting obliterated on a Tuesday night even though you have an important meeting the next day and they won’t take no for an answer! They don’t care if you wake up the next morning feeling like you just got hit by a bus filled with NYC tourists, they want to party! This is the type of friend who can’t comprehend why you wouldn’t want to do a line of coke before your shift and thinks you’re a moron for not because #yolo.

7. The Mock Your Taste In Music/ Art

I don’t really care if you’re not down to listen to Ariana Grande’s ‘Break Free’ with me for a hundred times in a row. It’s my journey and I get that but a toxic friend will seek out everything you love and scrutinize it in a vindictive way. This is the type of friend who thinks they are the litmus test for cool and anything they don’t think passes their test should be mocked mercilessly.

8. They Stress You Out With Their Neediness

If you don’t text them at least five times a day with what you’re doing and what your emotional state is they think you’re angry with them. They constantly ask out of nowhere if you two are “o.k” and you constantly feel this strange confusion over whether to break up with them or not even though you two are just pals.

9. They Remind You Of Everything Embarrassing You’ve Ever Done

Remember that time you got diarrhea in a Barnes and Noble? And then your friend told everyone about it? Yeah, this is the type of friend who will never let you live down any small error or mistake. You find yourself anxious around them, nervous you’ll mess up and give them more ammunition to use against you at parties.

10. They Get Irrationally Angry

This is the type of friend who will curse you out for wanting to skip brunch to save money. You’re never quite sure what will set them off and budget about thirty minutes each week for an intense texting fight that ends with you throwing your phone across the room in frustration.

11. They Act Differently Around Different Groups Of People

This is a tricky one because who doesn’t slightly change how they act around other people? However, a toxic friend will be night and day around different people. When they’re with you, they’re spunky and loving life and full of joy, yet the moment they hang out with a different crowd they’re cynical and creepy and vindictive. The real warning sign here is you’re never really sure when they’re being true to themselves.

12. They Steal From You

Your clothes and other belongings have stopped being adorably “borrowed” and start being straight up stolen when the shirt you’ve been looking for behind your couch for weeks shows up to a pot luck on the back of your sticky-fingered friend.

13. They Only Fill You With Doubt

If you’re going through a job change or a break up or even are thinking about moving a toxic friend is bound to highlight all the negative things that could occur. They remind you of everything that could go wrong in your life in a way that is far from construction. You feel yourself being held back and often wonder whether you should tell them about your life at all in order to spare yourself the sleepless nights tossing and turning over if you’re making the right choices

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