Maybe you seem to attract the same type of relationship (new guy, same old problems) over
and over again. It sounds pretty crazy, but somehow, out of all the people in the world, you find carbon copies of the same guy.
Fear not, though; you’re far from alone.
this isn’t an issue with the guys; the issue is you. You are the
common denominator in all of your failed relationships. The same goes for your friendships, work relationships and other problematic unions you face on a recurring basis.
However, it probably has nothing to do with your qualities, characteristics or the way you look.
Changing any of these will only change how your problem looks superficially.
The real reason is much deeper, based on our subconscious minds and the true feelings we have about what it is we “want” and “deserve.”
On a conscious level, we may not accept a partner who cheats, but for some reason, we turn a blind eye to behaviors that aren’t congruent with a faithful partner.
Are we conditioned to endless self-sabotage due to incongruence between our conscious and
unconscious mind?
No! We can break our patterns and meet the men of our dreams. Here are three steps to help
break your pattern and get on the path to meeting Mr. Right:
1. Get to know yourself
Women often complain that they attract the wrong guys, but if you ask them what kind of man they want, they have no idea. Or, she
“knows” what she wants in a man but has no idea why she wants it.
It’s no different than going on a job interview for the great title but hating the role itself.
That’s why it’s so important to spend some time alone and figure out what you really want.
Decide why you want a relationship: Do you
want to get married and have children or are you just trying to escape yourself?
Maybe you just need a hobby.
Once you know why you want to be in a relationship and with which kind of man, it’s time to assess yourself. It’s no easy task to
honestly critique yourself and make the necessary changes, but if you don’t, you surely won’t find someone to complement your
personality.
Angry people who are afraid of being hurt again can’t be in healthy relationships.
Your past is not your future and just because something happened before does not mean it will happen again — unless of course you didn’t learn your lesson the first time.
see also: Why Girls Never Want Nice Guys — And Why It’s Being an Assh*le will Get You Laid!!
2. Learn your lessons
We may not understand why things happen to us when they do, but eventually, time brings clarity
to difficult situations. Life is a learning experience, and if we don’t learn from our mistakes, we will repeat them until we get it
right.
The people in our lives act as our mirrors and the intimate relationship we have with our
partner is a key one to help us to understand ourselves.
Even a “bad” relationship is not a
waste of time because it leads us to learn more about ourselves.
Never blame the other person for what he or she did to you — no matter how badly your heart
broke. There is no win in being a victim; you give away your power by not recognizing your own responsibility.
Taking responsibility and analyzing your lessons counteracts the feelings of anger, hurt and
resentment, which are some of the most detrimental feelings that bad relationships can bring about.
So, whatever you do, clear your mind of all anger and learn your lessons instead.
3. Know your worth
Knowing your worth sets the basic level of respect with which you expect to be treated. This
is a non-negotiable level on which you won’t budge, no matter how “amazing” he might be.
Setting the standard of how you expect to be treated all comes down to knowing and caring
about yourself enough to have the confidence to not accept anything less.
Whatever you do, don’t slack on this one because the level to which you set the bar is the level at
which men will approach you. Remember, it’s much easier to put the “rules” in place from the
get-go than to enforce changes down the line.
Actions will ALWAYS speak louder then words.
Being clear is very important. It’s up to you to set your standard or forever be disappointed.
Breaking your relationship cycle and attracting the “right” man follows a similar method to any
other goal you set.
It always involves having a clear reason and desired result in mind, being disciplined in action toward reaching your goal and being
optimistic despite any bumps along the way.
see also: Think You're Ready for Motherhood? This Hilarious Test Will Change Your Mind (part 1)
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