When I confessed to my EX’s questioning of my
fidelity over a year ago, all she could say was
“wow”. She seemed very taken aback by my
answer. So today, when I was asked ‘why men
cheat’ by a young lady during a Public Speaking
event, I was initial hesitant to share the full
conversation me and my EX had about her
suspicion of my lack of loyalty.
“Can you tell me why all men cheat on loyal
Women?” a curly haired PreMed student asked
me today, during my public speak to a room full
of 300 Women. My response to her question was,
“Males cheat on loyal women to boost their ego.
A woman can be perfect for him. Beautiful,
career minded, own money, cooks, does whatever
he wants her to do in bed, loyal, intelligent,
educated, faithful and yet, he will still cheat on
her with an ugly, kangaroo looking girl every
time. But why?
How a male treats a woman is NOT a reflection
of HER worth. Nor is it a reflection on anything
she LACKS or is not doing. An overly macho,
mentally weak, sensitive-minded male knows he
does not DESERVE a strong minded woman. In
his mind, he thinks one day she will mentally
awaken to the realization she deserves better
than him & leave him. This is why males cheat
on a woman, to have POWER over her. He cheats
on her to boost his ego.
Most “males” are more insecure than women.
Notice I referred to a “male” and not a “man”, as
there is a distinct difference. Many males have
VERY low self esteem. You can tell, that’s why he
says, “I only fuck with bad bitches”. He is saying
this to convince himself, attempting to drown out
his insecurities that are on repeat inside of his
own mind.
By cheating on a good woman, it makes a weak
minded male feel he has POWER over her. It
makes him feel he is worth more than her. A
male knows if he cheats on a loyal woman, she
will care about him more. Yes, initially she will
be shocked a man has the audacity to cheat on
her, especially with an UGLY woman. No, not
merely “physically” ugly, no. The word UGLY
describes the particular amount of compassion,
sweetness and being genuine and nurturing the
woman he cheats with lacks.
A woman whose loyalty is taken for granted will
question herself like:
“what is wrong with me?
Am I not I’m pretty enough?
Is my ass not curvy and fat enough for him?
Is my stomach not slim enough for him?
Is it because I won’t let him bring another girl
in the bedroom with us?
Is it my smart mouth?
Is it that I’m always “over emotional” like he
complains?
What aren’t I doing right?
Should I do more?”
Then she will try to stay with him to PROVE to
him she is better than the girl he cheated on
her with. To prove to herself she can fight for
love and can help him by help changing a bad
boy into a good man, fooling herself. This is
reverse psychology. A weak minded male just got
a Good Woman to mentally submit herself to a
mentally immature man, purely by cheating on
her. Males use cheating to TRICK a good woman
into SETTLING for him. But this mind game many
males play cannot and will not work on a Loyal
woman who knows her WORTH.
I learned as Men, we must realize that ONE
woman who holds us down and stays by our
side, after we cheat on her, lie to her, hurt her,
use her and disrespect her over & over & over,
she is NOT loyal. She is WEAK. She is poisonous.
She will hold back your growth as a Man. Don’t
be fooled & think a girl telling you what you
want to hear is loyalty.
As a mentally mature Man, we need a Woman
who will be genuine with us at all times, even if
that means she speaks her mind to the point
her words pierce us and her tone appears to be
“smart mouthed”. In reality, she’s not being
“smart mouthed’ she’s being a Queen mentality
strong enough to verbally ascend to her thrown.
a Loyal, Strong Minded Woman will speak her
mind, regardless of what anyone thinks. Tell us
the TRUTH. Tell us when we are WRONG. A Loyal
woman will not allow us to hurt her multiple
times & still accept us. That is NOT loyalty. Not
at all. That is Pacifying. Babying. Appeasing.
A Loyal Woman will be loyal to your MANHOOD,
not loyal to your EGO. A Loyal Woman will tell us
the TRUTH, even if that means she might LOSE
us. A Loyal Woman will tell us when our
shitstinks, even if it makes us mad. A mentally
mature man does not want a YES woman. Trust
me. We don’t want a girl who will LET us hurt
you and abuse you over & over & still accept us
back, simply because you keep being told
through Instagram Memes that real love must be
suffered through and fought for. If she still stays
with us after we prove to her time and time
again that we genuinely aren’t strong enough as
a man to keep her consistently happy in a
relationship, it means she doesn’t really care
about us as a man. She only cares about how we
make her feel sexually. She is dickdizzy.
When a Woman truly LOVES a man, she loves him
at his BEST, not settling for his worst. She wants
us to BE the MAN who we were destined to be
by the Holy Spirit. A man who can speak life into
a woman, erase her insecurities, and shower her
with loyalty and consistence. A loyal woman will
tell her man to get his lazy ass up, get a job &
pursue his dreams. A Loyal Woman will not allow
a man to live off her. A Loyal Woman will not
baby a man by working a job herself, while he
sits his lazy ass in her house all day, playing
XBOX and eating Lucky Charms and Pop Tarts
raw.
A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to talk down
to her & disrespect her like she’s any girl,
because she knows a mentally mature man
DESERVES a Strong Minded Woman. A Loyal
Woman will not allow a man to refer to her as a
Bitch, Bad Bitch, Boss Bitch, My Bitch, Wifey
Bitch, because she knows we deserve a Queen
who has integrity.
A Loyal Woman will not allow a male to FORCE
her to get an abortion, or let him off the hook
for abandoning her after getting her pregnant,
because she knows we DESERVE to be a Father,
not a Baby Daddy. A Loyal Woman will not tell a
man what he wants to hear, she will feed him
wisdom he NEEDS to hear and not be scared to
do to it, because she is Loyal to his inner king,
which is his spirit. A Loyal Woman will not allow
a man to cheat on her over & over, leave her,
then come crawling his cheating ass back after
he had sex with every girl in the neighborhood,
11 of his followers on twitter, every girl who liked
the pick of his “are you DTF or nah?” meme on
his Instagram page. No, because she knows her
worth.
Just as I speak to you women today, I speak life
into young men as well, and I tell them to carry
themselves as a KING, to hold their head high
and never settle for a WEAK woman, when he
deserves a Strong Queen like you young women.
Yes, a WEAK Woman may always tell a man that
he is right, yes she will let him use her, yes she
will give him her money to pay his phone bill
that is in his mother’s name, and she will give
him her money without him even having to ask,
but; she can never make him a better man and
she can never love him like, a loyal woman can.
I made a huge mistake committing myself to a
weak minded woman before, and that woman
was my ex. Last year after I broke up with her,
she asked me if I ever cheated on her, as she
always suspected. I told her the truth and
confessed, “I have never cheated on you or any
woman, and I have never been unfaithful in any
relationship.”
After my confession, all she could say was,
“wow”, because it is commonly assumed all men
cheat, yet this is completely false. I could agree
all males cheat, at some point in their life, but a
“Man” not a “male” but a man knows if he
cheats, he would be not only cheating on a good
woman, he would be cheating himself out of
allowing a loyal woman to help mold him into a
king.
Many people argue men cheat, because his
woman will not do what his women on the side
will, but he would never even consider the
option of having women on the side if he
deserved her in the first place. Some men are
genuinely not ready for a relationship. To force
one with him is only creating a relationship
death wish. The idea that men are incapable of
being monogamous is false.
I enjoy going on dates, flirting, courting and
enjoy my single life, but in the back of my mind,
I’m looking for a WIFE. I have ZERO interest in
having side HOES or “fans”. I don’t need to have
sex with every beautiful woman I meet to prove
how much of a “man” I am. My loyalty,
monogamy, spirituality & mental maturity proves
that.
Each woman I meet, I’m looking to see if she is
Wife Material. Because I know I am Husband
material. My mother raised a future husband,
not a hoe. I choose to be celibate while single,
because my mother raised me to be a father and
not a baby daddy. I live my life this way as proof
that loyal men do indeed exist.
I have to admit, I am extremely picky and I know
what a want in a woman. I want a woman who is
as strong minded as me. I must admit I love a
woman with a smart mouth who will speak her
mind, yet knows that my masculinity and
romantic aggression will always demand her
respect, so she never verbally disrespects me. I
love a woman who is spiritual. I love a woman
who loves to shop & dress her ass of. It makes
me want to spoil her with new heels every
payday to keep her shoe game on point.
I enjoy the single life, but I have to admit, I
miss having a girlfriend to SPOIL. To show off. To
take shopping to the mall before our dinner
date. Waiting an hour outside her house
knowing she’s getting her hair right, eye lashes
long, eye brows perfect, make-up on point just
for me. I miss buying those Mani/Pedi gift cards
that come in the cute lil box & surprising her
with it to make sure my woman’s feet & nails
stay on point.
I miss taking the SAME LOYAL WOMAN out every
weekend, on spontaneous dates to the gun
range, laser tag, in door bungee jumping, rock
climbing, wine tasting, on a tropical cruise,
snorkeling with dolphins or just to the beach for
a walk on the sand after a I cook her lunch, fried
chicken, bbq wings, potato salad, pesto pasta,
fresh lemonade & peach cobbler I made just for
us.
I miss having the SAME LOYAL WOMAN to cook
for every day, to have in the kitchen teaching
her to cook, then putting an ice cube down her
back & laughing, play food fighting, then chasing
her around my house
searching for her all around, only to find her
laying in my bed, ready for me to trEAT her like
food.
I miss making love to the SAME LOYAL WOMAN,
texting the SAME GIRL all day, & never getting
tired of hitting her with my hilarious vulgar
humor and deep intellectual conversation. Being
hilarious, making her laugh her ass off to the
point her stomach hurts from how much I am
making her laugh. I miss hearing the SAME
VOICE every night before I go to sleep, hearing
her cheese at the sound of my DEEP voice. I
miss being a provider for the SAME LOYAL
WOMAN, being her rock, someone she can tell all
her problems to, vent to and then give her some
sound advice, speaking life into my woman to
make her feel better.
I miss giving those full body deep tissue
massages after her long day. I miss having that
ONE I can bring around my moms & sisters, to
family events, so everyone knows she’s mine. I
miss having that ONE to pray with, to cuddle up
& read the bible with. I enjoy being Single, but
honestly, I’d be willing to be loyal in a
relationship if I found the ONE worth committing
to. This is how mentally mature men feel. Yes all
males may cheat, but a mentally mature man
knows nothing can sharpen his iron and no one
can mold him into a king other than a loyal
woman.”
After I finished speaking, the young women
really humbled me, as so many of them
personally thanked me for writing “Why the hell
am I still dating Black Women.” I never intended
that piece to become an article. I was just
venting off an extremely disgusting experience I
had at a barbershop.
I want all my young kings to know they deserve a
loyal woman, not a fast girl. We as men need to
do much better. Lets be the men we want our
sisters to marry, the men we want our daughters
one day to be wifed by. Being a good man really
is not that hard young kings.
All a Loyal Woman really wants from us as a man
is us our attention. That’s all. And that’s not
asking a lot at all. Don’t make her feel crazy for
wanting us to give her consistency. Don’t have
her second guessing if it’s too early to for her to
expect us to be loyal, caring and faithful to her.
It’s not. Not at all.
If we like her, if we want to spend time with her
in any way, she DESERVES our undivided
attention. Not half of our attention on her, and
half on every other girl on these social networks.
My sister said a man doesn’t deserve her time if
we are not willing to give her our consistent
attention. You may think that is a lot to ask but
remember, in order to posses a treasure, one
must in return give up what the treasure is
WORTH. Loyalty.
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