Why Guys Dump Girls They Realy Like!!!

Nothing is more upsetting than when a dude you damn well know is into you pulls the plug.
One man gets to the bottom of out-of-the-blue breakups.
Chances are, you've had at least one breakup that left you wondering,




"What the hell just
happened?" The guy dug you, you dug him, and the whole thing felt destined for a fabulous
future - at least the foreseeable one. Then, out of nowhere, he bailed on the relationship. So what went wrong? The sad truth is, maybe
nothing. Here are five completely ridiculous
reasons guys kick you to the curb. Warning: For
the most part, it ain't pretty.
• The Timing Is Off
Women get serious when they meet the right man. Men get serious with whomever we happen
to be dating when we're finally ready to settle
down. That means after every other aspect of our life is in order - whether it's finishing grad
school, finally pulling down a good-size paycheck, owning a car outright - or when our
friends start dropping like flies (that's guyspeak
for getting married).
But if you catch a guy before he hits that magical stage of his life, then he's.liable to bolt
- like Patrick,* 28, who dumped Bridgett after two years, then got engaged to the next girl he
dated after only 10 months. "When I was with Bridgett, all of my friends were single and I was
still an intern with nothing going on in my career. So every time she'd bring up our future
together, it felt like she was jumping the gun,"
he says. "I didn't break up with her because she was wrong for me. I ended it because I didn't
want to commit to anyone right then. But by the time I met Elizabeth, I was in a settling-down
frame of mind."
• Men are natural-born one-uppers.
If there's a possibility of upgrading what we already have for
something better (that'll make our friends drool), we say, bring it on! So we wind up always
wondering if you're really as good as it gets. (I know, scumbag mentality.) "Whenever I meet a
new hot chick, I consider what it would be like to date her, even if I have a girlfriend at the time," says Andy, 30. "The grass is always
greener.
No matter how great his current girl is, a guy doesn't want to feel like he's missing out."
In addition to our opportunistic tendencies, most guys feel compelled to put as many sexual
conquests under their belts as possible. "I admit it - I know the exact number of girls I've slept
with, no mental calculation required," says Dan,
29. "That's how aware I am of how many notches I have. And I'd never commit until I felt like I'd
experienced enough different women." Every guy's definition of enough is different, so there's
a chance he wrote you off just because you didn't come late enough on his own personal hit
list.
•We're Fixated on the Worst-Case Scenario
From the times you chastise us for leaving a wet towel on the bed to those nights you rip through
a pint of fudge ripple without stopping to breathe, we file each incident in a mental folder
labeled Evidence She'll Change for the Worse. We flip through that file whenever we're trying
to decide if we want to hang on to therelationship. Blame our married friends who took
the plunge before us, but many single guys are hyperaware of what could go wrong down the
road.
Even if we're crazy about you now, we panic that you'll pack on the pounds, want sex
only once a month and nag us day and night. So we secretly flag certain things we're scared might
be a harbinger of bad things to come. "I've seen
it happen to too many of my friends," says Elliot,
29. "All they do is bitch about how the sex takes a total nosedive after they get serious with a
girl. So sometimes, even if the woman I'm dating
is a horny little minx, I freak out and bail."
• We're in Like, Not in Love
It's harsh but true. In fact, it's probably the most common reason we bolt. Just because a
guy likes you a lot isn't a guarantee that it will evolve into love. And we're surprisingly intuitive
when it comes to figuring out a girl's potential on this front. "I stayed with one woman for two
years because the sex was great and she never pushed the issue, but I knew the minute I met
her that she wasn't The One," says David, 30.
So why do we invest any time in a relationship that we know will ultimately end? Because we're
able to live in the moment for a while and chalk it up to a good experience. But once you show
that you're way more into us than we are into you, we'll dump you out of guilt. "I dated this
girl for about a year, but as soon as she started using the L word, I had to end it," recalls Jay,
29. "It was hard. I cared about her and didn'twant to hurt her. But I knew that if I stuck
around, she'd have been happier at first but miserable later on. After all, she deserved to be
with someone who loved her as much as she
loved me."
•We're Too into You
Just when you thought it was all bad news, here's a hard-to-fess-up admission: Guys are
protective of their emotions. Translation: We're scared shitless of being hurt. So, if we start to
feel like we're getting into a situation where we'll be destroyed if you dump us, we might
launch a preemptive strike and yank the plug
first. For Gary, 27, showing his girlfriend of two years the exit felt like the only choice. "She was
the first girl I was serious with, and I didn't like letting someone have that much power over me.
I was starting to feel emotionally needy, and that
was uncomfortable for me," he recalls. "So I ditched her to save myself!"
Sounds crazy, but cut us some slack. Think about
how vulnerable and paranoid you feel when you're nuts about a guy, and realize that we go
through the same thing with girls we really like. But our friends aren't as good at helping us get
over an ex as yours are, plus being openly heartbroken makes us look like wusses. Nope, it's better to act like a winner before you turn
us into a loser, which is when our natural self- preservation may come into play. Before the real
humiliation and pain assail us like a plague, ending the relationship seems like a good
option.
Are You About to Be Jilted?
Signs that your man's getting ready to bail
•His cell phone is always off. He might be
•spending time with someone he doesn't want you to know about...or he just doesn't want to
make himself available.
•He's reluctant to make plans.
•If he hems and haws about committing to anything - even if it's
in the semi-near future - he's thinking about making a break for it.
•He's meaner. The passive-aggressive breakup is a guy standby. Some men intentionally turn into a-holes to make sure you break up with them.
•He's not into sex. He doesn't want to feel connected to you - or he's getting his needs filled somewhere else.