have to do anything you don’t want to in the bedroom… Including giving your man a blowjob! Aside from declining the poor boy flat out, give him one of our fav cheeky
excuses and you’ll be let off scot-free…
1."My mouth is a virgin that wants its first time to be really special." But my vagina got it over with in high school that night.
2. "Don’t you want to see my face?" Then flail around the bedroom sobbing, knocking shit over. (Also
try to be wearing an old-fashioned ’50s cape that billows dramatically when you storm out of the room.)
3. He won’t return the favor. According to a poll we took, 70 percent of you have gone out with a guy who expected oral sex but wouldn’t give it in return. Be honest with yourself and admit
you’d rather date a Nickelback fan than thatdude.
4. Too much hair. Just because he doesn’t have a clitoris you need to find does not mean you ordered a hair salad with this sexual encounter.
5. Smell. Shower required.
6. If anything about putting your face down there makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you've never been around a really enormous penis, or an uncircumcised one, or a really short and fat one. Be nice about it (he can't change it, after all, and maybe you'll come to like it!) but you are under no obligation to put
your mouth on a penis that freaks you out.
7. If he’s pushing your head down. The worst.
8. If your knees are super-sore from exercise class that is if its belivable.
9. If you’re too tired. In the words “They don’t call it a job for nothing.”
10. If your meticulously-applied lipstick looks awesome. Besides, he won’t be psyched about having a red ring around his peen afterwards.
11. If you’re only doing it because you feel like it’s required foreplay.Obligatory sexual acts are generally not fun for anybody. And even if it is fun for him, screw it.
12. If he starts doing that thrusting thing down your throat and you’re not into it.
Some people like to be gagged during blowjobs, but if you’re not one of them, just stop and wait for him to notice you’ve stopped.
13. When it looks like something is wrong with his penis, STD-wise. But I hope I don’t have to tell you that.
14. If he demands that you swallow. Deciding to swallow yourself is all good. But a guy who expects it of you is pretty uppity.
15. You ask him to wear a condom and he refuses.
Whether you use a condom during a blowjob (some people actually do it) is a personal decision, but if he won't wear one after you've made it clear that you want him to, that's a dealbreaker.
©Business Unplugged
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