HILARIOUS: What Kind of Sex Patner Are You? (Women Edition)

So what categories of women do we have when it comes to bedroom matters ?


1) The Blackout

You get excited that you are getting some just like when you are about to watch a movie you have waited to watch for a long time. You get
ready, take her to bed, undress her and get ready for action and the moment you hit the play button and the action movie begins , she goes out like a light .
She is not asleep mind you , but you wish she was. She is just there .
Silent and motionless . The only time she may say something is if you go in through the wrong door. For the third time .

2) Hippopotamus

She is either too big for you or you are too small . Or both . Mostly both . If anyone walked in on you two , they' d be forgiven if they
thought she just gave birth . .. . to you .
3) The iFuck

Everyone knows she is the ultimate and everyone wants a turn. Truth be told only few can afford her. She is picky and knows what she
wants and when she is done with you , you will need a face rearrangement to look normal coz
the smile will be way too wide .

4) The Traffic Policewoman

These type of women have a deep urge to give directions. And they do it the whole session through. Go faster, stop , go deeper , go slower,
to the left , to the right, REPEAT.
Dont be shocked if you fail to listen and - instead of saying pull out - she says pull over!

5) Mama Mboga

They dont exactly say nikupimie ya ngapi - not exactly at least but during the whole session, she will be checking whether you are satisfied by her wares. Unataka nini , na hii nini umewashawahi jaribu , leo ungejaribu nini.
Umetosheka ama nikufungie ? The hell. STFU!

6) Bachette

Noisy and irritating . The noises she makes can make NEMA come and knock your house down .
You would think its Rick Ross trying to do a Celine Dion tune . With Bamzigi providing background vocals . And Kiraitu 's voice on loop.

7) IDEOS

Almost everyone has had a turn and you didn' t want to be left out . Her sex appeal lasts as long as the IDEOS battery too .

8) Al Shabaab

Comes to your house with no notice , fucks your brain out and leaves you for dead .

9 ) Catch Me If You Can

Slim. Playful. Tomboy. This one insists on games in bed. She will bolt out from the blues and run around and dare you to catch her . Reminds me of a joke where a guy saw an advert for losing weight that guaranteed that you ' ll lose five kilos in a week . He went over and was told they do home fitness by sending trainers to
your home. After getting assured of the results , he paid the money and went home. Later comes
the trainer .
She says, "This is how it works. You
chase me and if you catch me, you fuck me ."
The guy got very excited and chased her and shagged her every time he caught her . In a week, he had lost the weight . He went back to the agency and paid some more money for another week .
Then comes a different trainer . Slimmer , hotter and more fit. This one was harder to catch but
whenever he did , he shagged her and he was getting to really enjoy his training . After a week, the results were great and he went back to the agency asking if they can pull a ten kilo weight loss in a week. The agency said they can
deliver that - guaranteed. So the guy pays and goes home.
Later he hears the door bell. Excited , he runs to the door to see who the new trainer was. He
was sure this one was hotter than the other two . On opening the door, he found a well built guy in a trainers kit . Said the huge guy , " I am your new trainer . By now you know the drill. But this works the other way. If I was you , I'd start running!"

10) The Mexican Soap

From the day you laid eyes on her you knew how the story would end. Someone would want love, someone would get fucked and someone would cry . And the script doesn' t change with this one.

11) Thika Road

Too busy most of the time. Not to mention too many reckless riders have been through here because she takes what comes her way. And
she is too wide. Both ways .

via crazy nairobian