The Dumbest Things Girls Do to Impress Guys

Love makes you do stupid things. You convince yourself that your crush will only love you back if you stop being your normal, authentic self. You put on a show. You do one of these seven things, thus driving your would-be Boyfriend insane:


1. Pile on the makeup.

While you should certainly shower and be on top of your hygiene when you’re trying to impress a guy, there’s no need to go overboard. Blue eyeshadow and bright red lipstick are too much look for a 15-year-old girl. And even though they look fierce, please remove those fake lashes now, girl. This isn’t a movie—this is real life, so no need for the stage makeup. Sprucing yourself up with a little makeup is great, but keep your look natural and as close to “you” as possible.

2. Starve yourself.

When you go out to eat and just order a side salad, you’re basically telling your dining companions that you’re super boring. We meaty girls at SparkLife suggest you order, eat, and completely digest meals that include carbohydrates and fat. After all, if this guy and you really become a thing, one day he’s going to see you eat something more hearty than a vegetable.

3. Pretend to love sports. 

 If you’re the athletic type that lives for Monday Night Football, please skip ahead to the next section. You’re allowed to like sports, if you really do like them. If, however, you’re the type of girl who decides to like sports only after learning that her crush is a huge fan of a certain team, then you’re kind of a poser. You are certainly destined to scream “touchdown!” in front of your man during a baseball game when a pitch goes wild, hitting the batter. Yes, we get it, you look really cute in sports jerseys, so we can see why you want to prance around in them. But don't feel you have to fake enthusiasm you don't feel—after all, would you ever expect a guy to pretend he’s hugely into makeovers, shoe shopping, or “Pitch Perfect” in order to have a chance with you? Hellz no!

4. Giggle constantly. 

 If you find yourself laughing at everything he says, including when he’s seriously solving proofs in Geometry or asking you questions like, “What are your thoughts on gun control?” you need to stop immediately. While it’s natural to want to make your crush feel good about himself, that doesn’t mean you need to laugh at everything he says. Face it, your crush’s sense of humor doesn’t match the likes of Paul Rudd, Jason Segal, Seth Rogan, or any of those other dudes in Judd Apatow movies, so stop filling your face and body with laughter. You’re allowed to answer questions, say sentences, and respond in other ways, like a normal human being. By all means, laugh when a laugh is earned. But that’s it! No gratuitous giggles.

5. Feign stupidity. 

 Sometimes we assume that if we act like we don’t have a brain, a guy will want to be our boyfriend so that he can think for us all day. That must be why girls pretend they don’t know how to do math, drive, or build stuff. While we give you permission to ask for your crush's help as an initial flirting technique, there’s a difference between that and acting like a total airhead. Not only are you too smart for it, but believe it or not, guys like brains as much as they like butts and boobs.

6. Act like one of the guys. 

 Acting like a man isn’t going to get you a guy. It’s not cute to belch in front of him, and it’s weird to wear the same baggy jeans he does. If you’ve always done these manly things, great—you gotta do you. But faking bro-ness will get you nowhere. If anything, he’s just gonna invite you over with some dudes to play Xbox and talk about how they wish Selena Gomez went to your school.

7. Give it up before you're ready.

 Sometimes we think that the sooner we let guys all up in our French kisses and all under our shirts, the better, because that will prove it’s a real thing. While it can be hard to resist a 16-year-old boy's charm (and car), always remember that there’s something to be said for a little bit of mystery and a dash of innocence. Yes, innocence. Believe it or not, guys love that crap. So keep it nice and not-so-easy for as long as you can.

-Business Unplugged